It happened yet again this winter. I loved chocolate and chocolate loved me back. This is all true. What’s also true is that I was sick for around a month with horrid allergies and that turned into a sinus ear thing. In Austin, Texas we have what is called “cedar fever.” No one warned me before moving here two years ago. I would love to post the picture of my swollen eyes and face from last year, but you will seriously never look at me the same way. I was morphing into another kind of being and it was scary looking, honestly.

I was so sick that it was all I could do to make work, cook for the boys, and crawl onto the couch after completely drugging myself all up again. I was also sad. Sad about many things, but I will save that for another post and another day. So what did I do? I ate chocolate. A lot of chocolate and a lot of cheesy chips (new love for dairy since I couldn’t eat for a long time). And time went past.

Let me just insert here, I typically average 20,000 steps a day. I love that I don’t work a desk job. I am out walking 75% of my day (thank God!), I am extremely active and run at the gym around 2 miles, typically do yoga, and I am also a Salsa dancer. I was doing none of that. I was eating and in a very committed relationship with my comfy couch. Then it happened. My jeans started feeling tight and ta-da the ol’ muffin top had returned. At that point I was too sick and too tired to care.

I finally made it to the doctor, after putting it off for far too long and got all the meds I needed for the infection and also new meds for my allergies. Within a week I felt human again. It was then that I realized even more so that “Houston, we have a muffin top.” After I got home from an event at the end of that week, I took my top off and was sitting on my edge of the bed. I still had my jeans on and I looked down to see the damage. Yep, “Hello, old friend. It’s time for us to part I said,” knowing that I would be hitting the gym. And when I went out to dance the next week, I had to dress for this slight change in my body and I was okay with that.

As I type this, my path with the muffin top is nearly parted, but we have a few more weeks to go.

I am a woman, so only can speak for women (men, do you go through this? On the outside it doesn’t seem so), but it has been my experience that women in general hate parts of their body, but a long time ago I vowed to myself I would never do that. After I had the boys, I remember the first time I stood naked in front of the mirror and examined myself. Wow. It was totally different and I realized that I was going to have to dress for a completely different body type. I loved myself and was so grateful that my body was successful in carrying the boys as long as it was able to. What a blessing and honestly it did take me a minute to look at the drastic changes (almost in shock).

“I am grateful for this body and I vow to treat it well.”

Why would you hate someone so beautiful inside and out? You would never hate a friend for a weird mole would you? Change the things that you can change and love yourself for the different seasons that you are in. There will be times in your life when you exercise more and some when you will exercise less. Love yourself anyway. Give yourself grace. Hating one part of your body will get you no where. Focus and make goals on where you want to be.

As of today, I have cutback my chips and chocolate, upped my steps, and have made it to the gym on all my target days this past week. Seasons.

Life is beautiful and there are lessons in each season. x


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